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Motivation

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Poems

God help the angry. They’re afflicted each one.
All squashed up on crap chairs, out of the sun,
And with demons inside, and with shadows behind.
Watch over us, friends, as we start to unwind.

An angry summit at Mill Place Farm
Of raging souls in search of calm.
Presided over by the founder of BAAM,
(Who’s witnessed more conflict than Vietnam)
A wispy-haired wizard by the name of Mike Fisher
Whose style is a mixture of Freud and Trisha.

A motley collection of like-minded souls,
Greeted on Friday by ridiculously heavy bread rolls,
With no inkling by Sunday they’d leave with new friends
Even though they’d re-mortgaged to afford the weekend,
But it’s worth it! They’ve learnt of their shadows, how to clear,
And that it’s possible to have fun without beer.

They jumped in the deep end when asked to check-in,
And everyone got under everyone’s skin.
There were tears, there was tension. There were tantrums and laughs,
People paid £7.99 for Mike’s autograph;
For even paying clients don’t get his book reduced,
But enough emotional regression – time for the characters to be introduced:
Gill was the nurse with the syringe in her hand,
Our request for a bed-bath was not wisely planned.
Algie was unfeasibly fit for a man of forty.
Dan was regularly chastised for being naughty
For, together with Pete, he made regular randy
Observations of H, the resident eye-candy.
H loved the tributes and never complained,
She just hogged the middle seat on the sofa, next to Wayne,
Who’s something of a regular, and wants to be a teacher.
He tried to pass the tissues to Julia, but couldn’t reach her,
And you wouldn’t want to know Julia when she’s angry – she’s wild,
But at least now she’s learning to control that inner-child.

There were 2 Tims, as there are on most courses.
It’s a shame when it came to mealtimes there weren’t 2 courses.
Robert had the distinguished air of an American President,
Dean booked late, so he couldn’t be a resident.
Alistair came all the way from Norway, where he lives by a fjord –
From all over the globe they came, to a course they could barely afford.

Humphrey was another trainer, with an air of Hugh Grant.
Richard lost his seat and went on a marathon rant.
And that’s everyone covered, apart from the chef
Who did ask for yeast, but the shop assistant was deaf,
So the pizza was stodgy, and the bread weighed a tonne,
But despite this they all learned some tools and had some fun.

They feel slightly anxious going back to their worlds,
To see how the rest of their lives will unfurl
And unfold, to begin to behold the power in their hands
To deal with complexities so hard to understand.
But we all hope, when next faced with self-harm,
That we draw on that weekend at Mill Place Farm.

by Dan McCarthy.


Basic Human Rights

I have numerous choices in my life beyond survival.

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO:

✔ recognise and accept my own ʻvalue systemsʼ as appropriate

✔  say NO to anything, when I feel I am not ready, if it is unsafe or it violates my values

✔  dignity and respect

✔  make decisions

✔  determine and honour my own priorities

✔  have my needs and wants respected by others

✔  terminate conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated

✔  NOT be responsible for othersʼ behaviour, actions, feelings and problems

✔  make mistakes and not have to be perfect

✔  learn from my mistakes

✔  expect honesty from others

✔  all of my feelings

✔  be angry at someone I love, if they hurt me

✔  feel scared and to say ʻI am afraidʼ

✔  grieve over losses in my life

✔  safety and security

✔  make decisions based on my feelings, judgement or any reason I choose/change my mind at any time

✔ be happy

✔ stability, i.e. ʻrootsʼ and stable healthy relationships of my choice

✔ my own personal place and time needs

✔ be relaxed, playful and frivolous

✔ be flexible and comfortable with what Iʼm doing

✔ change and grow

✔ be open to improve my communication skills so that I may be understood

✔ make friends and be comfortable around people

✔ be in a non-abusive environment

✔ take care of myself, no matter what

✔ trust others who earn my trust

✔ forgive others and to forgive myself

✔ give and to receive unconditional love

© The British Association of Anger Management. All rights reserved.